Audio By Carbonatix
Keep Westword Free
We’re $1,500 away from our spring campaign goal!
We’re aiming to raise $20,000. Your support ensures Westword can continue watching out for you and our community. No paywall. Always accessible. Daily online and weekly in print.
Recent news accounts from Eaton, Commerce City and Aurora, demonstrate that social behaviors and youth coaching practices are changing, and all will have a profound impact on the evolution of youth football…
#1. For starters, the customary coin toss, used to determine which team will kick off, is being replaced with a Coach’s Ultimate Fighting Match. The winning coach determines if girls will be allowed to play in the game.
Look below to the new team uniforms for girls…
#2. Team uniforms for girls will follow the design standards set by the new Lingerie Football League — not as objectification, but as a visual code to the acceptable (skin) and unacceptable (clothed) areas of female athlete tackle football contact.
#3. Coaches of the losing teams will be allowed to pair up teammates and demand post-game hand-holding laps around the field in an effort to cheer up distraught fans and to help build team spirit.
