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Dear Stoner: I’m an RA at a small private school and have to report kids who smoke weed, but I got COVID two weeks ago and still can’t smell. Any ways I can spot them?
Zachary
Dear Zachary: Surely this was a joke email from a fake person, I originally thought. And then I remembered that schools like Colorado Christian University exist.
Sorry to hear that your nose is out of commission, McGruff, but I think you have bigger problems to worry about than a few freshman blowing one-hitter puffs out the window. In fact, according to some recent research, your COVID defenses might’ve been better served if you’d joined them and took a few rips.
Has the news of your nasal impotence been shared throughout your building? If not, please follow up with your school and dorm information so that we can let your subjects know of their new freedom. I sincerely hope your sense of smell returns, but there’s no need to ruin someone’s chance at a college diploma over this.
Send questions to marijuana@westword.com.
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