Audio By Carbonatix
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| Photo by George Martinez |
By Victor Gonzalez
Gay, straight, bi or simply rolling face, if you’re a man with abs like Jesus and just enough fabric to cover your genitals, there was nothing wrong with showing off your manhood in Miami this past weekend. It’s Ultra Music Festival, baby! And the Gym, Tan, Molly fraternal order of male ravers are loud, proud and hanging ’round in their Diesel underpants, Umbro soccer shorts and furry boots. Here are the top ten nearly naked raver bros spotted at Ultra 2013.
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See also:
– Have you seen Molly? She’s been everywhere lately
– Photos: Ultra Music Festival 2013 – Weekend One, Day One
– Photos: Ultra Music Festival 2013 – Weekend One, Day Two 
Ho! Ho! Ho! Y’all have heard of Santa Claus, right? This is his raving doppelgänger, Santa Cock.
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YMCA
The Village People called; they need the headdress back, papo.
A Formal Affair
Ultra Dress Policy: Black tie, no shirt.
PANDA-monium
This bro’s spirit animal must be exhibitionist panda. Cute boots, dude.
Full Chub
Is that a banana in your pants? Or are you just happy to be at Ultra? Well played, Chubs.
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Cojones
Ballsy outfit, bro!
Fanny Package
We actually asked this bro to “act natural” for the picture.
Furry
With that much body hair, why bother wearing clothes?
Captain No Pants Who needs pants when you’ve got a captain’s hat, sunglasses and a sweet golf cart?
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| Photo by George Martinez |
Ultra Formal Always remember to match your tie to your kandi kid accessories.