“Who makes the laws in the United States?” Here’s a clue: If that’s one of the questions asked when you take the official United States Citizenship Test, don’t answer “lobbyists and special interests.” The Office of Citizenship and Immigration Services doesn’t give extra credit for creativity. Or honesty. But ICE…
Long before midnight, Duffy’s Shamrock had run out of Guinness, that most traditional of Irish brews. And of Jagermeister, that not-so-traditional drink. But while cocktail choices grew more and more limited as Duffy’s last last call approached, the memories flowed freely. So did the advice. “You should put plaques up…
Duffy’s Shamrock Bar served the first beer of its last day at 6:10 a.m today. Technically, that was fifty minutes before it was legal to do so — but what’s the state going to do, shut down this 56-year-old institution a few hours early? And technically, Duffy’s doesn’t — didn’t…
Dear Mexican: Man, did you make me laugh with “leprecanos.” I never had more fun on Cinco de Mayo than I did in 1974 in a Cambridge, Massachusetts, Mick bar called the Plough and Stars. After that night, I was hooked on redheads and Jameson. I barely had to buy…
Where Tom Tancredo goes, trouble follows. Restoration Weekend drew a cadre of famous conservatives to South Florida this past weekend — but the Colorado congressman was the one who grabbed the headlines, after he referred to Miami as a “third-world country.” And President Bush has only himself to blame, Tancredo…
The world doesn’t get more real than this: While last Wednesday’s premiere of The Real World: Denver featured, among other things, same-sex kissing in a LoDo hot tub, getting face time with Larry King a few channels away was Focus on the Family’s James Dobson, offering his first public take…
Dear Mexican: Can you tell me the meaning of the word aguacate? All I know about this delicious fruit is that it originated on this continent. Guacamole Man Dear Gabacho: Aguacate is the Spanish word for “avocado,” but its Nahuatl meaning is more rustic: balls. According to Ana María de…
Parking got John Hickenlooper a lot of play when he was first running for mayor of Denver, and it’s doing the job again. NPR and MSNBC have both reported on Hizzoner’s promise to pay for any parking tickets acquired when voters got stuck in endless lines at Denver’s election centers…
The news spread faster than a beer spilling down the 72 foot (or 70.1 foot, depending on who’s measuring) bar at Duffy’s Shamrock on Court Place. The joint was closing — soon. Everyone had accepted that someday the owners, the Lombardi brothers, would sell the building that occupied a prime…
“I’m real optimistic about everything going on,” Eddie Maestas said, gazing out the window of Johnnie’s Market at the changing landscape of Larimer Street. “I see nothing but good for this area. I just hope God gives me enough time to see it through.” By then, in the fall of…
Dear Mexican: My fiancé is trying to learn Spanish so he can speak to my grandmother when we get married next month. Lately he’s been listening to CNN en Español to get an ear for the language. After several weeks of watching the channel, he noticed that there are always…
Last Tuesday was not John Hickenlooper’s day. Had he caught all the woo pitched his way a year ago and made a run for governor, he probably would have been elected. Instead, his town was having trouble electing anyone, thanks to the disastrous performance of the Denver Election Commission…
I got fucked by a male escort. Was it good for you? At 5:05 a.m. last Wednesday, Peter Boyles was telling his KHOW audience about an e-mail he’d gotten from a man who would be on the air that morning, talking about a prominent religious figure who’d gone to him…
Dear Mexican: Not long ago, I attended a Los Tigres del Norte concert at a small hall. The people attending were supposed to sit down and enjoy the music. Five minutes into it, these jumping beans started dancing in the aisle. Within minutes, half of them were going up and…
Karl Rove’s Republican Party got wiped off the map yesterday. But the White House strategist has seen that before. Rove spent his early years in Kokomo, a town founded on the west side of Fremont Pass during the 1881 silver strike; the town boomed again during the glory years of…
Five minutes before the polls opened this morning, signs pushing Bill Ritter sprouted every few feet along Speer Boulevard. His name was everywhere — so omnipresent, in fact, that it was hard to remember that at this time last year, the Colorado Democratic Party was still on the Anyone But…
Denver will host the 2008 Democratic National Convention. Not because the Democratic Party will win big in this state on Tuesday — although it will. And not because Denver went through such contortions to guarantee a union hotel — although it did, with the Hyatt Regency recognizing UNITE-HERE in September…
You know your candidacy is in trouble when you hope that Dick Cheney, that man of the people, might be able to bring some votes your way. Still, the veep will be in Colorado Springs tomorrow to help push Republican Doug Lamborn’s chances in the fifth congressional district. There’s only…
Dear Mexican: A friend says she read somewhere that only 20 percent of Mexican men will go down on their ladies. I don’t believe that. Can you “spread” some light on the subject? El Gabacho Guapo Dear Handsome Gabacho: Let me penetrate the thrust of your friend’s argument by referring…
It felt traitorous to vote early. I’d never done so before, partly because it always seemed rather undignified to fill out a ballot at the same place I’d buy broccoli, but also because I was loyal to my old polling place, located in a rehab center where the residents considered…
As a kid growing up in Colorado, Andrew Lee loved the Denver Broncos. He discovered his love of politics a little later — when his mother, an immigrant from southern China, decided that her son, the only Chinese kid in his middle school, should learn more about their culture…and rented…
She fought the urge. She really did. But finally, she surrendered. “Someone’s gotta do it,” Lisa Jones says, and sighs. Or, as her new website, VoterJones: The Fix Is In (www.voterjones.com), puts it: “Many voters suspect that the Denver Election Commission is messed up somehow. The purpose of this is…
