View larger image Michigan Total Number of Delegates: 157 Pledged: 128 Unpledged: 29 How to Recognize a Michigan Delegate: Michigan has a lot to answer for. Two of the nation’s greatest problems, aside from Mitt Romney and Madonna, can be blamed on industries based in Michigan. Global warming is the…
Get all the news you need, and more, from the New Hampshire primaries tonight at the Elephants In The Room blog of our Minneapolis sister paper, City Pages, as they liveblog all the ins and outs of this evening’s masterpiece of political theater. Sure they’re 1,000 miles away, but this…
The choice is clear, New Hampshire. At least for those of you Granite State Republicans. Vermin Supreme. Vermin is officially on the primary ballot, and with such pledges as mandatory toothbrushes, time traveling to forceful abort Mrs. Hitler’s gestating catastrophe, and no flying monkeys in the city of New York,…
New Hampshire votes today, but Denver still has plenty of work to do before February 5, or Super Duper Tuesday as it’s known, when Colorado and 23 other states pick their nominees for president. The Democratic Party, especially, needs to build a massive base of volunteers, and not just wonks…
View larger image Massachusetts Total Number of Delegates: 121 Pledged: 93 Unpledged: 28 How to Recognize a Massachusetts Delegate: Massholes. It’s the name that everyone from Maine to Maryland loves to call the residents of Massachusetts. Oh, sure, it’s funny, but it’s not entirely true. Well, it’s true on weekdays…
View larger image Maryland Number of Delegates: 99 Pledged: 70 Unpledged: 29 How to Recognize a Maryland Delegate: Chesapeake is the Susquehannock Indian word for “great blue crab bay.” So when the land surrounding the bay was granted to Lord Baltimore in 1632, he wanted to call his new colony…
View larger image Maine Number of Delegates: 34 Pledged: 24 Unpledged: 10 How to Recognize a Maine Delegate: Most Americans’ perception of Maine starts at the Discount Outlet Stores in Kittery and ends at the parking lot of the Discount Outlet Stores in Freeport. This sixty-mile stretch of U.S. Highway…
The Recreate ’68 alliance (profiled in the October 25 feature, “Recreate ’68 Plans to Do Just That”) has just issued a curious holiday manifesto. A take on the 1834 Clement Clarke Moore poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” the alliance has crafted the following holiday missive, meant, presumably, to stir…
It was fun while it lasted. Tom Tancredo just made official what had been rumored for 24 hours: He’s pulling out of the Republican presidential race. Although he never really had a chance of reaching the White House, Tancredo’s already won: He made immigration a focal point of the campaign…
View larger image Louisiana Total Number of Delegates: 67 Pledged: 56 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize a Louisiana Delegate: The surface of Louisiana may properly be divided into two parts: the swamplands, and the quagmires, which include the townships and parishes built on the bribes and embezzlements of organized political…
View larger image Kentucky Total Number of Delegates: 59 Pledged: 50 Unpledged: 9 How to Recognize a Kentucky Delegate: Kentuckians insist that they live in the south, even though the majority of the state’s population lives along the northern border, mainly in Louisville and the suburbs of the solidly Midwestern…
In National Public Radio’s December 10 story about the previous night’s debate, a Republican presidential candidate forum in Miami sponsored by Univision, Tom Tancredo was mentioned first. How did the double T pull off this long-awaited coup? By not showing up — ostensibly because appearing at such a “Spanish-speaking” event…
Today the United States District Court for the Northern District of Florida in Tallahassee upheld the Democratic Party’s right to enforce its primary rules — and spanked the Florida delegation for pushing up its state vote to early January “We’re pleased the court ruled in our favor, recognizing the constitutionally…
Tom Tancredo will unveil a new commercial in Iowa this afternoon, a month out from the vote there. His last ad tossed a bomb into the campaign, but the shockwaves didn’t raise Tancredo above the bottom of the pack. Still, his quixotic presidential run has had its effect: The first…
View larger image Kansas Total Number of Delegates: 41 Pledged: 33 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Kansas Delegate: Claim jumpers from Leavenworth, Kansas, laid out their town on theSouth Platte River and named it after Governor James W. Denver, inthe hopes that he would make Denver City the county…
In Minneapolis, the RNC Welcoming Committee – the protest-planning counterpart to Denver’s DNC-dissing Recreate 68 – recently released this hilarious, self-spoofy recruitment video as part of its efforts to draw comrades to the Twin Cities to screw with the Republicans next September. Nationally, an umbrella group to these umbrella groups,…
Diana DeGette has laid claim to the unusual distinction of hosting a Democratic National Convention physically located entirely in a single congressional district: Hers. In the past, conventions have overlapped multiple districts, the congresswoman said Wednesday during a roundtable discussion. The 2008 convention, which takes place next August in Denver,…
View larger image Iowa Total Number of Delegates: 56 Pledged: 45 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize an Iowa Delegate: Iowa is the smartest state in the union, topping the annual list for national ACT and SAT scores. That’s only fitting, since the national ACT offices are in Iowa City, and…
View larger image Indiana Total Number of Delegates: 79 Pledged: 66 Unpledged: 13 How to Recognize an Indiana Delegate: The origin of the term “Hoosiers” is uncertain. Many of the definitions for the term are synonymous with “simpleton.” But Indianans are anything but simple; in fact, to most Americans, Hoosiers…
A few years ago, our hearty band of pranksters devised the Bad Colorado Souvenir Mall Crawl Challenge, a one-hour contest to find the very worst souvenir available on the 16th Street Mall. But it was no challenge at all. Once a bastion of great shopping – with real department stores…
We need help with a caption for this photo of Howard Dean at today’s media walk-through of the Pepsi Center in Denver for the upcoming Democratic National Convention. In the comments section below, post your suggestion for the most apt caption…
To paraphrase Dick Cheney, Representative Tom Tancredo’s quizzical presidential campaign is in its last throes. But it’s going out with a bang — literally — with a commercial running in Iowa that makes Lyndon Johnson’s infamous 1964 mushroom-cloud spot look subtle. The ad, which you can view below, begins with…
