1. Yeah, September 11 is an unfortunate date: You have to wait another whole day until Denver’s Oktoberfest begins! Then you can don your dirndls and hosen and get schlap happy. Which entertainer is not scheduled to perform in Larimer Square this year? A. Steve Rock und seine Tanzkapelle. B…
When Jessica Brakey first enrolled in the United States Air Force Academy, she believed in its hallowed honor tradition. Like every other cadet, she agreed to abide by the code: We will not lie, steal, or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does. But during her time there, she…
As a public service, Off Limits is pleased to present the “Doonesbury” cartoon that did not appear in the September 7, 2003 Denver Post. The city’s arbiter of all things tasteful decided “the strip was in poor taste and was particularly inappropriate to run in a section where children were…
The August 31 announcement that Colorado Governor Bill Owens and his wife, Frances, had separated after 28 years of marriage was news, plain and simple. After all, the Owenses are probably the state’s most prominent couple, particularly given the split last year of John and Janet Elway. Besides, Owens’s frequently…
You know it. I know it. Every figure skater in Moscow knows it. Eleven high school kids coached by their home-ec teacher could beat the lowly Cincinnati Bengals. So that 30-10 road win your Denver Broncos put on the books Sunday afternoon doesn’t mean a thing. The first real tests…
The Myths of Meth Unsafe at any speed: I wanted to express my appreciation for David Holthouse’s and Alan Prendergast’s pieces on the two sides of the meth world in the September 4 Westword. I’d only take exception with the subhead of Holthouse’s “72-Hour Party People” “Meth: It’s not just…
It comes wrapped in red foil and purple tissue, this intricate figurine molded in the form of a Japanese demon, with clawed feet, a mane of fire and a thick tongue jutting from a bloodthirsty smirk. Transparent, the size of a child’s fist, it looks like a tiny ice carving…
Randy Goin remembers his first visit to a methamphetamine lab six years ago. It was the beginning of a long and disturbing chemistry lesson. A Thornton narcotics detective assigned to the North Metro Drug Task Force, Goin didn’t know quite what to expect. He’d heard the horror stories about crazed…
Nothing instills fear in homeowners like threats to their quality of life and the possibility of declining property values. The fear is so palpable among residents living near a vacant lot at 84th Avenue and Simms Street that more than a hundred of them endured a community meeting two weeks…
Donald Rossa thought the six adults crowded around a small table at Dazzle Restaurant and Lounge looked a little out of place. Unlike most of the patrons in his chic Lincoln Street club, they weren’t drinking, and they weren’t talking too much. Mostly, they were staring intently at the jazz…
1. According to the most recent batch of bee stings from the Colorado Department of Labor, the state has lost how many non-farm jobs since July 2002? A. A heck of a lot. B. More than you can shake a stick at. C. A ton. D. 15,100, give or take…
It’s a sad, sad day for Denver when our very own People magazine hunk is shoved aside for a new hottie. Animal Planet’s Emergency Vets is no longer filming episodes at Alameda East Veterinary Hospital, and standup comic/stand-out veterinarian Kevin Fitzgerald has been supplanted by Katrina Warren, who appears to…
Channel 4 news anchor Bill Stuart has spent a big chunk of his career competing directly against Ed Sardella, his opposite number at Channel 9 — and as Stuart concedes, his own squad’s fallen short more often than not. When asked if he feels as if Channel 9’s long-term ratings…
On a rainy Friday in late August, the Evergreen Cougars’ senior-level midget football team prepares for its final pre-season scrimmage. In eight days, the team is scheduled to open its season against the feared South Jeffco Gators, winners of last year’s coveted Carnation Bowl, and a feeling of uneasiness hangs…
A Wrinkle in Rhyme Slam on wry: About three weeks ago I attended poetry night at the Mercury Cafe. In addition to hearing the flabbergasting triteness of the many solo poets, I had the displeasure of witnessing the so-called poetry slam team that Westword featured in “Poem on the Range,”…
Jane Komperda is just learning to hear vowels and consonants in her head. She’s been paying close attention to the whisper and buzz certain letters make as they’re mouthed so that she can sound them out while reading. Until now, she’d never thought about how words beginning with the letter…
Seventeen is not a banner year for female drivers. What with talking on the cell phone, filing nails, applying mascara and lighting a smoke, who has time to pay attention to the road? As if. So when a girl of that dangerous age approaches the courtroom pedestal on her third…
1. According to preliminary July unemployment figures, which county was the leader of Colorado’s unemployment pack: A. Kit Carson. B. Huerfano. C. La Plata. D. Douglas. 2. Is nowhere safe from West Nile? While the Denver Zoo recently reported several animal fatalities, the virus also hit the zoo last year…
Members of the Denver Library Commission got an earful from Denver Public Library volunteers last week, when twenty of them showed up at a commission meeting to express their anger over the way they have been treated by library management. One former volunteer of the year, Rose Keating, was in…
Only Miss Cleo knows for sure, but John Denver’s latest reincarnation may be too saccharine even for him. The troubadour, who sang of Rocky Mountain highs and Grandma’s feather bed, inspired not only a hit posthumous musical, Almost Heaven: The Songs and Stories of John Denver (set to reappear at…
Danica Patrick sizes up her passenger through black wraparound shades and quickly lets him know who’s in charge: “All right. Buckle your belt.” One metallic click and twenty seconds later, we’re screaming down the long back straightaway of the Grand Prix of Denver road course at 110 miles an hour,…
“Life is taking things in stride,” says Jon Bowman. “And if nothing else, I think I’ve been able to do that over the years.” Talk about an understatement. Prior to his recent hiring as an on-air reporter by Channel 31, Bowman hadn’t held such a position since being handed his…
