Things have officially gotten out of hand in America. Entering Super Target the other day with my daughter, Allison, I noticed a prominent display of the next entry in the Hello Kitty line of kids’ stuff, which already includes keychains, videos, crayons and oil filters. This latest development: thong underwear…
I don’t know if it was the cocktail waitress’s cheerleader voice or the fact that she called me “ma’am” three times prior to actually delivering my drink, but I detested her from the start. At what point do you become a “ma’am” or a “sir”? Yes, I was significantly older…
It’s human nature to try to improve upon past accomplishments. We strive to improve our work skills, our time in the mile, our driving so that we don’t singlehandedly snarl traffic on Colorado Boulevard from I-70 to I-25, our dancing moves so that we can approach all the soul displayed…
Vodka Mortini Morton’s 1710 Wynkoop Street 303-825-3353 Shaken, not stirred — James Bond was on the money. Scientists at the University of Western Ontario have found that shaking a martini increases the antioxidant activity in the drink, which in turn reduces the drinker’s risk of cataracts, strokes and cardiovascular diseases…
When you wake up after a night of carousing, two questions should emerge from your clouded mind: 1) Where am I? 2) Who am I with? After our visit to the Denver Tech Center’s b>Purple Martinib> (8000 East Belleview Avenue, Greenwood Village), I placed an urgent wake-up call to the…
After a game of golf out by DIA, friends suggested a drink at the nearest bar: Outback Steakhouse. Hey, any port in a storm. But the second I stepped inside, my disdain for mid-level chain restaurants came flooding back like a repressed memory. Can someone please explain to me how…
Happy hour is one of the greatest inventions in history. If you’re really honest with yourself, I think you’ll agree that only wide-screen TVs, frozen pizza rolls, propane barbecue grills and Victoria’s Secret compare. And like the last of these, happy hours have had a major social impact, giving first…
A large Buddha behind the bar in the Tom Tom Room, formerly the site of Tommy Tsunami’s, was supposed to be enveloped in smoke, but after a few sputters and grunts, it was clear that the Buddha had performance anxiety. Happily, this was the only performance problem I experienced at…
LoDo has bars for every mood. I have a favorite or two where, during football season, I start pouring down Bloody Marys at 11 a.m. Although they are harder to find, a few other LoDo venues are guaranteed to inspire such a night of debauchery that you want to drive…
In Mexico, I do what every travel guide tells you not to do — I eat food bought on the street. Have I gotten sick? Yes, very. Was it worth it? Absolutely. At the restaurants that cater to the vacationing hordes, you can’t find any of this street fare –…
Q: What does the Institute of Drinking Studies recommend after a monumentally bad week? A week that leaves you bruised, battered and trying to get the footprints off your back from life running roughshod over your carcass? A week where the only thing that keeps you going is the thought…
I hated all card games as a kid, but the true bane of my existence was the mind-numbing Go Fish. Even before I started losing brain cells from a combination of booze, age and bad genes, memory was never one of my strengths. And now the Go Fish Grille –…
Every day, it becomes increasingly obvious that those in power count on citizen apathy to let them skate by with policies that pander to special interests and are out of touch with the average American. How else can you explain the continued presence of Katie Couric and Oprah; 24-hour news…
After too many jobs that required way too much travel, I try to avoid hotel bars. They depress me. They’re usually filled with smoke and professional salesmen who spend 90 percent of their lives on the road and typically believe that their marriage vows are legitimate only within a hundred…
Whatever happened to customer service? Bars don’t have Guinness on tap. I get soggy fries at McDonald’s. If I’m out eating with five other people, the restaurant assumes that group-think has ruined our math skills and tacks a 15 percent tip on the tab even though we probably would have…
Jerry Seinfeld once imparted these words of wisdom: When you hit that high note, say goodnight and walk off. So for my final act as Drink of the Week girl, I gathered a group of faithful friends and headed to Moda Ristorante & Lounge for several rounds of Gocce di…
After a year of our close collaboration, the Head of Research at the Institute of Drinking Studies finally shared this piece of information: The true Irish often frown upon the Black and Tan that I love so much. Historically, the drink’s components are Guinness and Bass ale, the latter an…
Summer nights seem so right for a little Latin lovin’. And since my blue-eyed, blond-haired boyfriend doesn’t exactly fill that bill, when I’m in the mood for Caribbean spice I hit the twinkling patio at Cuba Cuba for a Havana Special ($6.50). A recent addition to the exotic drink menu,…
I’ve been in bars all over the world, and good bars are pretty much the same no matter where you find them. They’re all dark, smoky — as long as you’re not in the People’s Republic of Boulder — and serve greasy food. Everywhere I’ve gone, even Bahrain, a good…
With summer in full swing, I’m longing to spend every afternoon lying by a pool. But while I’d be nice and tan, I’d also be broke. So instead, I’ll be spending my evenings reclining on a black leather couch at the hot Swimclub 32 and sipping a Lychee Martini ($8)…
Two weeks ago, the planets and several other heavenly bodies — as well as most of the cheesy guy population in the greater Denver area, four representatives from the Institute of Drinking Studies and several hundred dollars’ worth of alcohol — collided at Avalon (9535 Park Meadows Drive, Lone Tree,…
In nineteenth-century Ireland, priests, politicians and upstanding ladies who wanted to sneak a quick nip without tarnishing their reputations could enter their local pub through a separate entrance and settle into a snug — the original VIP room, an intimate, private space where bartenders would pass pints through a frosted…
