It had been a long week, and by Friday, several members of the Institute of Drinking Studies were looking forward to what would prove a cataclysmic night in the Vortex. As if reading our collective mood, Mother Nature had crowded the western skies with ominous thunderheads by the time JP…
It had been a while since I’d last been dragged to a karaoke bar. It had been such a long while, in fact, that back then, I couldn’t even pass the excruciating time with a game that not-so-new trends now make possible. On a recent visit to Armida’s, for instance,…
Before we went to see the latest Star Wars installment last Sunday, we held our own geek convention at Benny’s Restaurant (301 East Seventh Avenue). For those unfortunate people forced to overhear our conversation, which degenerated into fisticuffs every two seconds, there’s probably little doubt that most of us played…
Which Colorado establishment sells the most Bacardi rum? I wouldn’t have guessed Samba Room, but when Tim Maness, executive chef and managing partner, told me that this Larimer Square establishment serves between 1,100 and 1,600 mojitos each week, the answer made sense. The bar also goes through ten pounds –…
The Institute of Drinking Studies would like to congratulate Westword on the best cover we’ve seen since we started dragging down the collective IQ of Denver. We’re referring, of course, to the May 19 issue featuring the backside of (we sure as hell hope) a young lady. This visual appealed…
Scientists at the Webb-Waring Institute for Cancer, Aging and Antioxidant Research know the secret, and it’s not blueberries. According to a bartender at the Recovery Room, this joint fills with Institute researchers in the afternoon; when I stopped in at night, I found an eclectic neighborhood crowd that had made…
It’s bad enough when a few members of the Institute of Drinking Studies get together — fewer than five representatives is known as a “troubling” — but when you have the executive council and fifteen potential members, things quickly get out of hand. This is known as a “disaster.” By…
When many non-smokers drink, they suddenly turn into smokers. Most of my friends are supposedly non-smokers, but after a few cocktails about half of them become “social” smokers — an ironic oxymoron, because I never feel particularly social toward someone blowing smoke in my face. Since I’m a solid non-smoker,…
The telltale signs are back: big, formal envelopes in mailboxes and big, blank stares on women carrying bridal magazines that have more pages than War and Peace. As every guy in a relationship more than two hours old can tell you, these signs indicate that the 2005 wedding season is…
Everyone knows about the drunk guy at the party who ends up with a lamp shade on his head. At the newly remodeled 1515 Restaurant, there’s already a fetching woman with a lamp shade on her head, as well as two absolutely perfect breasts just below — captured in a…
America took a step past the point of no return in 1968, when it began airing personal-hygiene product commercials on TV. Suddenly we were bombarded with televised cures for hemorrhoids, explosive diarrhea, feminine odor, infections of various etiologies, PMS (although I understand this is not a real phenomenon, and in…
I scream, you scream. Gelato and alcohol are two of my top-five foods, so I was thrilled when Gelazzi, a bar and gelato shop, opened in Larimer Square last November. The bright space, filled with modern Italian decor in vibrant colors, is delightful — almost as delightful as the Gelazzi…
From the thirteenth through the sixteenth century, the monarchs of England and Scotland held sway over their respective lands — but in the hill country between, the Border Reivers ruled. These tribal landlords shifted allegiances among a whirlwind of blackmail, robbery, kidnapping and murder. Perhaps cooler heads would have prevailed…
I’m not a pot smoker, but as I entered Dulcinea’s, I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to light up a fatty, tie-dye my clothing and start doing the Woodstock flower-child dance. As I deeply inhaled the hippie atmosphere, the guy next to me said, “I’ll be 25 in May, and…
Renewal is sweeping Cherry Creek, and I highly recommend that you check it out. Of course, you may not be able to do so, because the wait for valet parking clogs up traffic for a mile around. If you do actually make it to the corner of Second Avenue and…
Fanta? Don’t you wanta? As a kid, I loved Fanta Orange soda. As an adult, though, I hadn’t found a compelling reason to seek it out — until the 9th Door, a new tapas bar and lounge, gave me fresh reason to Fanta-size. When the exceedingly knowledgeable and vivacious waitress…
Families are odd things. You grow up together, then once you develop judgment, you realize that you hate these people because they tortured you by running away while you were stuck on crutches and couldn’t catch them — when they were the parties responsible for putting you on crutches in…
New Zealand is on a roll: Lord of the Rings, sauvignon blanc, kiwi fruit, Russell Crowe and Xena (not in that order), as well as the cleanest air and water in the world. And now those clever Kiwis have used that water to create a new, super-premium vodka: 42 Below…
Nobody likes to admit defeat — especially not a member of the Institute of Drinking Studies. We pride ourselves on being able to enjoy any bar, no matter if it suffers from watered-down drinks, pea-soup-thick smoke, snobby patrons or slow service. Our antics are usually enough to guarantee our happiness,…
Asked recently for the name of my favorite female bartender, I realized that I’m a complete sexist. While I could rattle off at least ten great male bartenders, the only woman I could think of was Kris Lykins at Strings. I’m sure there are many fabulous female bartenders in town,…
Technology is a wonderful thing, as you guys who have seen TV’s greatest commercial or whose girlfriends get the Victoria’s Secret catalogue already know. The new Body by Victoria IPEX brassiere is touted as “the world’s most advanced bra” — and by “advanced,” they mean “making the average-looking bosom seem…
The attractive man directly across the bar was wearing a black T-shirt with cut-off sleeves and the word “Fruitcake.” When I suggested to my companion that not only was the shirt redundant, but would be far more creative with an inventive slogan like “Rum Balls” or perhaps “Cherries Jubilee,” he…
