Under normal circumstances, news that a diner — a good diner, one with some age and enough funk and grunge to gladden my blackened little Rust Belt heart — had redecorated would really piss me off. Why? Because “redecorating” is often a code word for repackaging or repurposing, a polite…
Like a lot of kids in the ’70s, Erik Amundson collected and traded beer cans. And like his fellow collectors, he eventually lost interest and moved his cans to the attic. But unlike most kids, Amundson had a mother who didn’t trash his collection after it fell out of fashion…
I’ve always wanted to be the lead singer in a band. Not like Mick Jagger fronting a band rockin’ out large stadiums, but more of a Janis Joplin type, pouring my heart out on a small stage in a dark, smoky enclave. Sadly, I can’t carry a tune. My own…
Apparently the only Ted-free place in town is Denver International Airport. These days, you can’t turn on the television or open the paper without seeing that single word emblazoned on a blank field, or even go to a bar without having a cheap Frisbee proclaiming “Ted is fun” foisted on…
We were saying our goodbyes. Laura was inside with her mother, doing the last-minute traveler’s waltz of checking tickets and departure times, making sure everyone had their jackets, collecting books that had been shoved up on shelves, fussing with the cats — doing any and every little thing that could…
In Japan they’d say it’s otaku, or maybe a by-product of otaku — that passionate, blind obsession with something long gone, something that maybe never existed at all. At Brasserie Rouge (see review), Leigh and Robert Thompson have created a place more real than reality, a reproduction that’s not just…
At six months, Bistro Vendome still has the potential to be a great spot. It has all the necessary elements — a perfect little space with a garden patio tucked away off the street; a talented chef-owner, Eric Roeder, who comes with a pedigree full of names like Gray Kunz,…
If your houseguests have been in town for a full twelve hours and are already grating on your last nerve, impress them with a trip to Denver’s newest power center, the Capital Grille, where you can get them nice and sauced up with a few Stoli Dolis (a drink that…
Let’s have a show of hands: Who did something this past weekend that he or she regrets? Okay, me too. But despite my being “overserved” by the Hornet (76 Broadway), I’m pretty sure I have the same complement of friends that I went into the weekend with. And that’s no…
You know one thing that bugs me about the French? Their cigarettes. Gitanes, in particular. Their boxes are too big; they burn funny; and they taste like a pile of burning hair. But the Frogs love ’em and are absolutely convinced that Gitanes are the best smokes on earth. Know…
It started with cheese and ended with a chicken suit. In between, I decided to start a revolution, found myself in three different chain restaurants and almost took a swing at Jesus. It was a weird week, and here’s how it shook out… Friday –hearts and minds: By my second…
Most of us can picture the embattled alcoholic, staring down at a tempting glass of vodka and calling a fellow abstainer late at night: “I’m craving a drink and need your help.” But a person having the same struggles over a glazed doughnut? That’s a much harder image to swallow…
Let’s be honest: No one goes to the Diamond Cabaret & Steakhouse for its specialty cocktails and rare steaks — they go for the tits and ass. With its dark-red walls, leather chairs and neon chandeliers, the currently controversial Diamond was the perfect spot to pop my strip-club cherry. This…
The new SAT is the final step in the coddling of America’s children, which is ruining society. It started with allowing snowboarders at Vail and continued with the acceptance of ridiculous baggy pants — the ones with crotches hanging around the knees, making kids look like clown-school rejects or young…
By the third time I’d driven past the construction site, the workers were getting suspicious. The fourth time, they waved. I was beginning to wonder if mocking motorists was their job, if the building site at First and Josephine was really some sort of day-vacation spot for burned-out roughers and…
At Hapa Sushi (see review), you don’t have to worry much about rules. Don’t sneeze on your neighbor’s edamame, don’t lick the help, don’t stick two chopsticks in your top lip and pretend you’re a walrus (they’ve seen it before, Shecky, and no one thinks it’s funny). If you can…
After my friends and I grabbed two open spots at Bowlero Lanes one Saturday night and strapped on our snazzy rental shoes, we placed a friendly little wager: The losing team must buy the next round. And even with a 49-point spread to make up for my ball-handling deficiencies, my…
Now that Halloween is over, I’m sure you’re counting the days left during which every Target, Barnes & Noble and Best Buy will be filled with a miserable quagmire of people who are apparently unaware that other humans populate the Earth — running you down with their shopping carts, blasting…
If you’re going to drink alcohol, do it before noon.” Ordinarily, receiving this medical advice from your doctor would be a dream come true, like having your dentist tell you to work half days and eat rock candy to save your teeth. But not now. In suggesting the cocktail brunch,…
Key West today is not my kind of place. For starters, while I love the ocean, I’m not a beach-community kinda guy — not a guy tuned to that Endless Summer, quasi-Caribbean, Jimmy Buffett-and-a-strawberry-daiquiri vibe. Trust me, the last thing any of you nice people want to see is my…
I didn’t get out last weekend, and I doubt that you did, either, because we are apparently under biological attack. I don’t know for sure where this bug came from, but it’s probably hell. The bug ravages your body until you’re so sensitive that even your hair hurts and you…
I love snakes. Not big boa constrictors or mammoth pythons, but cute little green tree snakes about as long as a ruler. I’ve owned two, both of which met untimely deaths — but those are stories for another day. I’d never thought of mixing my fondness for reptiles with my…
