Bite Me

Long ago, in a column far, far away — July 18, 2002, to be exact, when Bite Me debuted — I had pretty strong things to say on the topic of restaurant decor, service and all that pomp and stagecraft that goes along with the execution of a fine meal…

Consumed

When your co-workers are bees, you’d better be industrious. And Mark Beran — engineer, inventor, snowboarder and beekeeper — lives up to the standards of his hardworking colleagues. In his tiny, 350-square-foot shop in Niwot, he produces world-class mead. “Somewhere out in the universe, there can be a non-linear event…

Drink of the Week

The hot new Zengo wants to fire up Denver’s restaurant scene — and exotically named cocktails that combine Latin and Asian influences are just the right fuel. My favorite is the cool yellow Huetzi ($8), made with Bacardi and mango rums along with fresh mango, ginger and lime juices; it’s…

Drunk of the Week

Part of being Dad is enduring unimaginable torture at the hands of your child. I’m not talking here about the dirty diapers that curl nose hairs from a mile away and defy all laws of physics because there’s no way a ten-pound child should be able to unload thirty pounds…

Partially Cloudy

It was getting on toward late, but I was still sitting at Cielo, sprawled in a soft, comfortable, sky-blue chair across from the fireplace in the vaulted dining room, closed in by cloud-white walls, the arched black ceiling above me like starless midnight. There had been four of us for…

Bite Me

To finish off the Chinese-American trifecta that filled my mailbag (see below), last week I took a spin by Little Olive, at 1050 South Wadsworth in Lakewood. In the beginning there was Little Ollie’s, a Cherry Creek offshoot of the popular Aspen eatery owned by Charlie Huang and John Holly…

Drink of the Week

St. Patrick’s Day is my favorite holiday, and this year I’m going to start things off right. So bright and early next Wednesday morning, you’ll find me tucked into a cozy booth at the Squealin’ Pig Irish Pub, holding tight to a glass mug and sipping an Irish Coffee ($5.25)…

Drunk of the Week

I hate mass-market American “beer.” And not just for the obvious reason — that it’s the root of all evil. We all know that just about every college kid in America is controlled by brain waves transmitted via television commercials that feature the Coors Light Twins or the Miller Lite…

That’s Our ‘Cue

Imagine that you’re a restaurateur who’s just been handed a million dollars. A little more than that, actually, but for the sake of nice, round numbers, I’ll call it a million. You’ve got a big, fat check in your hand, ink still wet on all those zeros. What do you…

Bite Me

I found a lot to love at M&D’s Cafe (see review), but one thing that didn’t wow me? The cornbread. And since cornbread (or, failing that, slices of spongy white Wonder bread) is an integral part of the barbecue experience, I was left feeling a bit cheated. M&D’s kitchen makes…

Drink of the Week

I always pictured John Wayne as a whiskey-straight-up kind of guy. But the Duke must have downed at least one margarita in his 72 years, because the sign hanging over the long wooden bar at the Minturn Saloon — which boasts the Minturn Mountain Margarita as its house cocktail –…

Drunk of the Week

I want to set the record straight: I did not knuckle under to corporate pressure — at least not without trying to get a kickback at the same time. We headed to Chopper’s Sports Grill (80 South Madison Street) the other night to watch the Timberwolves continue their dominance of…

Rice Job!

Matt checked the steel-bodied German dive watch clipped through the top buttonhole of his chef’s jacket. “Eleven minutes,” he said. “Total?” I asked, turning to make a bare-handed grab out of the salamander, the count “one-one-thousand-two” in my head as I set a searing hot platter on the stovetop rail…

Eat Days a Week

Try as he might, man cannot live on risotto alone. And after this man had made three visits to Parisi (see review) in five days, it was starting to look suspicious. The wife — vastly overestimating the dubious sex appeal of a scrappy, long-haired, foul-mouthed restaurant critic — began suspecting…

Beer Run

Forget light and low-carb beers. “Ultra Wimp” and his beer-drinking pals have a better method for fighting fat: They run while they drink beer. Wimp and his buddies belong to the local branch of the Hash House Harriers, a global group of rule-breaking recreationists who combine running, orienteering, beer drinking…

Lucatini

I believe in ghosts. Not the spooky, haunted-house kind that live in basements, but benevolent beings who watch over us from beyond. And while I never got to meet Doug Fleischmann in the flesh, I could swear I felt the warmth of his spirit when I entered Luca d’Italia. Killed…

Fish Story

I’d been eating out with Glen again, which is almost never a good idea, and I think I felt the building housing Sonoda’s shudder with relief when the two of us finally showed the front door our backs. Although the servers had never rushed us, had never been anything other…

Bite Me

A dinner with Glen (see review) always unfolds with the same potential for highly public disaster as a live TV broadcast without the comfort of a five-second delay. He is an awful, vile creature, a man born without that essential internal volume control that allows civilized people to interact politely…

Drink of the Week

I like a bar where, after you sit down, the first thing the bartender does is stick out his hand and introduce himself. “We like to know our customers’ names,” says Anthony Ilacqua, as if that’s standard operating procedure at watering holes around town. It’s not, but at the Thin…

Drunk of the Week

On the list of man’s highest accomplishments, the sports bar comes right after the creation of fireworks, dark beer and frozen cookie dough. But let’s face it: All great inventions begin with guys who have nothing better to do than figure out new ways to amuse themselves or make their…

Feeling Lucky

When Jim Ilg and his crew were renovating the space that would become Java Moon, they found a safe sealed up inside one of the walls. It’s big — all black iron and tarnished silver with a swollen head mounted over a heavy, footed pedestal that makes it look like…

Bite Me

Forget race. Forget color, creed and sexual preference. Never mind religion or politics or any of that other socio-fascist demographic nonsense that some people use to put others into little boxes. In my world, there’s only one division: diner people and coffeehouse people. Personally, I am a diner person. So…