Finding Nemo

I have not always been a good guy, and I have not always lived a good life. I have committed sins venial, carnal and culinary, have knowingly done wrong and sometimes enjoyed it quite a bit. I have vices, secret shames, public hatreds, a checkered past — and remain, in…

Fish Story

Okay, so it’s not very often that I come down on the same side intellectually and ideologically as the folks from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. As a matter of fact, it’s not very often that I can stand to be in the same room with any of…

Charbay Green Tea Vodka Martini

I recently started working out with a personal trainer named Michael. When I complain that the weights are too heavy, Michael tells me that he confused my weights with those of “Mrs. Peterson, who is eighty years old and just entered assisted living.” When I tell him I think I…

Party Time

‘Tis the season when it’s socially acceptable to act like someone who hit puberty and was given the keys to a brand-new muscle car on the same day. The culmination of this season is the office Christmas party, which rivals revealing government secrets as a foolproof way to ruin a…

Happy Meal

Unlike Aquarium — the fish restaurant at the Downtown Aquarium (see review) — Eat Street at the Denver Children’s Museum is not serving any of its less successful exhibits for lunch. Nor did operators Jay and Emily Solomon (who also own the nearby Jay’s Patio Cafe on 15th Street) feel…

Intelligent Design

Planned communities creep me out. It’s something about their zero-down homogeneity, the Stepford-ness of their razor-straight streets and perfectly manicured medians, their covenant controls and faux-utopian doubleplusgood Orwellian weirdness. It’s the way they build their own parks, schools and churches on the same templates that govern the placement of their…

Hey, Santa

I don’t spill a lot of ink writing about chefs and restaurants doing charity events. A lot of you probably think that’s because I’m a miserable, Scrooge-ish crank full of spite and humbuggery. And while I certainly am, the real reason I don’t keep track of every bake-off, giveaway, beneficent…

The Knockout

After those recent, regrettable shootings in LoDo, a friend remarked that the area has been taken over by juvenile delinquents and that there’s nowhere to take older workmates or parents for a cocktail. I was blown away by this comment. LoDo is chockablock with fine establishments for the more sedate…

Cafe Bisque

This is a good week. Why? Because Second Helping is finally getting to do what I’d always hoped it would do: give a second shot to a restaurant savaged in a previous review, a place that’s now worthy of being welcomed into the fold. Although many of the good spots…

The World Is Flat

Up to this point, I had given about as much thought to the foods of Argentina as I had to the high peaks of Cincinnati or the beaches of Kansas. And I had given about as much thought to Argentina in general as I had to Victorian haberdashery or the…

Global Crossing

Buenos Aires,” says Francis Carrera, owner of Buenos Aires Pizzeria (see review), rolling the name of his native city off his tongue like he’s savoring it, as if every letter were spun out of sugar. “It’s all about women and the food, you know? It’s a dangerous place.” Though he…

AquaDeath

It’s raining men — hallelujah! I am officially over metrosexuals. The last guy I dated shaved his entire body (yes, even there) and used more skin-care products than Tyra Banks and Janice Dickenson combined. His obsession with personal grooming was not only time-consuming, it was less than manly — and…

Conversation Starter

I am pleased to announce that Hanson’s Grill & Tavern (1301 South Pearl Street) has been granted Most Favored Bar status by the Liaison for Redneck Relations. “This is my new favorite bar!” he pronounced, after showing up late with his designated-driver wife in tow and rejuvenating a crowd that…

Bonnie Brae Tavern

Bonnie Brae Tavern has no windows, which may explain why few modern influences have slipped in over the past seventy-odd years to mess up the place. Instead, four generations of the Dire family — which opened the onetime roadhouse right across the street from the headquarters of the Denver Temperance…

Party On

Here’s what I like best about Lucile’s, the insanely popular, quarter-century-old Creole restaurant: It’s in a house. Just a plain, not very large two-story house with an enclosed porch. The place is comfy, tattered, worn smooth by thousands of days of service. There are specials every day, but the core…

The Big Easy

Whenever I eat at Lucile’s (see review, page 48), I always order more than I can possibly eat. Order more than two of me could eat, in fact, loading the table to the breaking point and then stuffing myself until I can’t see straight. It’s a matter of logistics, really,…

Peppadew Martini

It seems like every time I turn around, there’s another wonderful, delicious and — just as important — independent restaurant opening up in the Potter-Highlands district. The most recent addition is Duo, owned by Keith Arnold, Stephanie Bonin and Scott Raderstorf. Keith and Stephanie, who are husband and wife, have…

Roo Bar

Have you ever seen the look on someone’s face the first time he rides a roller coaster? It’s a mixture of abject fear, exhilaration and satisfaction that he has a foolproof plan for killing you in your sleep because you assured him that the roller coaster wasn’t in the least…

NoNo’s Cafe

With Cajun on the brain this week, I made a run down to Littleton for NoNo’s Cafe, long a local favorite among a certain clientele despite its decidedly Cracker Barrel-lite style of decor and inauspicious strip-mall location. Who, exactly, is this certain clientele? Beats the hell out of me, but…

Kokoro Bebop

ayne Conwell has an eye for detail. His work, his career, everything he is and everything he does depends on detail, on seeing the things that no one else can. He’s a fifteen-year veteran of the sushi game, in which detail — a single grain of rice, a single slip…

Mex and Match

arly next year, Lola will leave its current home at 1469 South Pearl Street and move to 1575 Boulder Street in the Highland neighborhood — but that doesn’t mean its name is up for grabs. Still, a Lola European Cafe just opened at 820 15th Street, in the space right…

Breckenridge Brewery and BBQ

It’s that time of year again, when we gather with loved ones and pick at the unfinished turkey only to get yelled at by the cook. To avoid this temptation, we’ll find the sole patch of grass in a six-mile radius and start a friendly game of football that includes…