By Hook or by Kirk

William Shatner has done many things during his eighty years on earth, including make out with alien women, sing like a stilted, tone-deaf parrot and get everyone really good prices on airline tickets. In fact, there is almost nothing he hasn’t done, including perform on Broadway, which is where Shatner’s…

We scream for ice cream! Five GOP-inspired Ben & Jerry’s flavors

What are two things that people really want right now? You guessed it: new flavors of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and more Republican primary coverage. Last week Ben & Jerry’s announced that it is debuting Greek frozen yogurt, bringing back “Chocolate Therapy” (chocolate ice cream, choco-cookies and chocolate pudding…

A newbie’s guide to John Waters movies

Half the fun of John Waters fan-dom is initiating newbies into the dark, sexually inappropriate cult of worship. The other half is watching Waters virgins become violently ill and/or mentally unhinged. But we don’t want you poor, deprived noobs going into a John Waters-fest with a completely empty toolbox, so…

Five snacks to eat while watching John Waters movies

What’s John Waters’s favorite movie-watching snack? In anticipation of “An Evening With John Waters at the Rocky Mountain College of Art + Design this weekend, we asked the famed filmmaker several questions submitted by Westword readers, and then threw in the movie-snack question. His answer? . “I love candy!” he…

Five things Applebee’s is already doing right

Applebee’s just hired hot Boulder-based Crispin Porter + Bogusky — the same creative outfit that Arby’s recently signed — to give the ubiquitous American meat-starch-veg spot an image boost of some kind. But here’s the rub: Unlike Arby’s, Applebee’s doesn’t really need a facelift…

Baby-ccinos? Five coffee drinks for niche markets

Cappuccinos for kids? On a recent episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert tipped his hat to Brooklyn baristas for creating the diminutive coffee drinks and “hooking babies on the foam dragon.” And why not? Getting our nation’s spawn to recognize the dual benefits of espresso addiction and effective niche…

Denver kinksters stage a protest at the KinkForAllDenver conference

A group of Denver kinksters staged a protest at the KinkForAllDenver conference last weekend. The demonstration was planned and executed amid accusations — prior to the event — that two KinkForAllDenver organizers censored presentations to discourage too much BDSM content and actively sought to exclude local kinksters. The event, which…

John Waters on beer, bathroom reading and his signature mustache

Interviewing some celebrities can be as excruciating as putting out a campfire with your face, but talking to John Waters is a lot like talking to a friend — that is, if you have friends who have made freaks, gays, drugs, abortions and religion into delightfully irreverent movies that have…

Explore your wild side at KinkForAllDenver tomorrow at Auraria Campus

If you are kinky, want to be, or are just curious about sexuality and different lifestyles — check out KinkForAllDenver, a full-day conference taking place tomorrow at the Community College of Denver’s Auraria Campus. The conference will be a hands-on (crack a joke here, pervs) teach-in with presentations by sexual…

Five things Arby’s should do to improve its image

We’ve all heard how you can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse, but Arby’s would have to do something close to really compete with fast-food rivals like McDonald’s, Taco Bell and Subway. To help pull off this miracle, Arby’s recently added new CMO Russ Klein (he jumped ship…

Top five reasons why people love Trader Joe’s so f*@%ing much

The prayers, pleas and entreaties of Coloradans have been heard, and we are finally getting a Trader Joe’s store at the Twenty Ninth Street mall in Boulder in 2013. The hoopla surrounding this blessed event — akin to the birth of the Christ child — has some uninitiated locals wondering…

Fat Tuesday Fun

Wanna live it up before you give it up? Celebrate Mardi Gras at Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret’s Fat Tuesday Mardi Gras Party with appetizers, desserts, champagne, New Orleans-inspired cocktails and the glittering gals of the Bella Diva Dance troupe. Guests aren’t required to dress up or wear masks, but “we’re hoping…

Top five things NOT to feed your date this Valentine’s Day

Like most major holidays, Valentine’s Day is a day for foodies and, even more important, foodies for the day (FFTD). FFTDs plan romantic dinners; try to convey deep, passionate love through chocolate selections; and purchase just the right edible gifts to show their partners how much they care about their…

Cocoa Loco

Having to make Valentine’s Day dinner reservations can be a sour experience — unless, of course, you’re planning an evening of all-you-can-sample sweets, like cakes, candies, chocolates and beer. That’s what the 31st annual Chocolate Lover’s Fling, which benefits the Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence (SPAN), is all about. “We…

Photos: No quiero Taco Bell breakfast

Taco Bell is currently making the same mistake that gets you in trouble playing Risk: dividing your army. Taco Bell undoubtedly owns the late-night fast-food crowd, and it doesn’t seem to be hurting at lunch or dinner, either. But thrusting its big burrito into the already crowded breakfast scene is…

Top five things food snobs should stop doing

There is nothing wrong with being a food snob. Food snobs offer valuable services to their communities, such as market insight, educated opinions and keeping the restaurant industry honest and on its toes. But still, there are always some culi-nazis pissing in the crab bisque; food snows who take themselves…

Oh, Baby!

The dichotomy of rich people adopting poor people’s babies makes for high drama, and while you can probably rent Stockard Channing’s and Laura Dern’s made-for-TV version of Jane Anderson’s The Baby Dance, why not go see a live version of the play? “You can get right up close and have…

What questions would YOU ask John Waters?

What’s better than Santa Claus coming to town? John Waters coming to Denver. He’s a lot like Santa, except his bag of toys is for adults only, his trademark mustache is neatly trimmed, and his elves include Patty Hearst, Traci Lords and Liz Renay. Waters will be presenting An Evening…

My top five McDonald’s horror stories

McDonald’s proved this week that the road to public relations hell is paved with good intentions — and hashtags. The company introduced a Twitter hashtag crusade, asking customers to share their happy fee-fees and heartwarmingly poignant stories about dining at McDoo’s, but as with most things that start out with…

Epicurious Maximus

Snow isn’t the only reason to head for the hills — especially this year. The Beaver Creek Food & Wine Weekend kicks off from 6 to 8 p.m. this evening with a cocktail reception meet-and-greet at the Mountainside Bar & Grill at the Park Hyatt, and continues through Saturday with…

Fright Night

When a young woman impulsively sneaks into a theater in the dark of night, it usually doesn’t end well. But throw in some popcorn, six short horror movies — including an appearance by Lindsay Goranson, who stars in Sweets — and a comfy seat in the Esquire Theatre for The…