To Be Astronauts’ Bassist’s Penis Nearly Broke up the Band

Kyle Hollenbaugh: “There we were, at a sports bar adjacent to DU, where the jukebox houses Merle Haggard next to Loretta Lynn – not really our kind of bar. Or bartender, as we’d find out. We had a show with an early load-in, and Max (lead singer) used it as an excuse to get loaded. With way too much time on his hands and too many vodkas, he started bugging Eric (bass) about whether he had any dick pics on his phone. When Eric finally showed him one, it must have had a big emotional impact, because Max got totally hammered before we went on and was belligerently wasted for the set. So much so that he got in a middle-finger stand-off with the bartender from the stage.

“Then Max bailed on the show mid-song and quit the band, leaving Eric, me (guitar) and Saladin (drums) to finish the set. After we wrapped up, we found Max outside, sobbing. After he cried some of the excess booze out, he un-quit the band, and we’ve been rocking ever since.”

To Be Astronauts plays at Jordinelli’s Official in Brighton on April 13.

Editor’s Note: The Denver Bootleg is a series chronicling the history of local music venues by longtime Denver cartoonist Karl Christian Krumpholz. Visit Krumpholz’s website to see more of his work.