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The 2009 Double Hummer
Completely redesigned with U.S taxpayer auto-bailout money, the new Double Hummer will be marketed as the perfect four-wheel-drive vehicle for American Interstate highway driving. With a 116-inch wheelbase, the double-wide track allows all 280 cubic feet of cargo space to be distributed in a single, six-passenger front seat. The width also allows the driver to control two lanes of traffic instead of one. The sixteen-cylinder engine is fueled by burning a blend of all the items listed on fast-food restaurant dollar menus, which is cheaper than the cost of gas.