Audio By Carbonatix
Members of the Boulder Police Department want you to lock your car. Really. Seriously. No kidding. In fact, they so badly want you to lock your car that this morning, the BPD’s Twitter account spewed out six tweets telling you to lock your car over the span of four minutes. And reading them back to back to back to back to back to back is flat-out hilarious. We count them down below. Tweet one, 8:58 a.m.: Our message is clear, straight-forward and based on recent reports. Read it. Think about it. Commit it to memory.
FACT: There have been 105 vehicle trespasses in Boulder since 9/1/12. FACT: 102 of those cars were left unlocked. Please lock your doors.— Kim Kobel (@boulderpolice) September 19, 2012
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Tweet two, 8:59 a.m.: Just in case you hadn’t really thought about the type of person who steals things from cars, you should know: They’re not very nice.
FACT: Criminals are opportunists, & look for easy targets.Don’t advertise your valuables by leaving them in view. And, please lock your car.— Kim Kobel (@boulderpolice) September 19, 2012
Tweet three, 9 a.m.: What’s the matter with you people? Do you have so many expensive gadgets that you can afford to have them ripped off without giving it a second thought?
FACT: It only takes a second to lock your car. It’s time well spent if you want to keep your iPad and your cell phone. Please lock your car.— Kim Kobel (@boulderpolice) September 19, 2012
Tweet four, 9:01 a.m.: We have a feeling you people aren’t listening. And we’ve got enough paperwork already, thank you very much!
FACT: It takes longer to file a police report than it does to lock your car. Please lock your car.— Kim Kobel (@boulderpolice) September 19, 2012
Tweet five, 9:01 a.m.: Did we mention that crooks are bad? We did? Well, they are. Very bad. And by the way, if you think you’re getting your stuff back — ever — think again.
FACT: Items stolen from cars aren’t often recovered. Ever. Criminals sell them to other criminals. Please lock your car.— Kim Kobel (@boulderpolice) September 19, 2012
Tweet six, 9:02 a.m.: Okay, maybe you’re going to lock your car — but your stupid friends probably won’t.
FACT: BPD would appreciate it if you would RT these tips to others. Thank you, and please lock your car.— Kim Kobel (@boulderpolice) September 19, 2012
Whew! Glad they got that out of their system. Now, I wonder…did I lock my car?
More from our Tech archive: “Denver Police Twitter survey results on photo radar stories: ‘Who cares?’ finishes strong.”
